It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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