Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize