My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
