so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
