I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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