How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize