im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
