I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
