Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
