I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
