bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
