I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My vagina is officially offended.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
