Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He shit in the fireplace
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