Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I party with great urgency now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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