DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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