I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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