Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
