On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
