Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
