i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
