we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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