why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
