My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
