Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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