Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
