I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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