so let's talk penis.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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