I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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