he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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