thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
