I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
