so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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