It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
