you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
