she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
