I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
