So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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