There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
