I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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