Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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