I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize