It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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