I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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