Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
