The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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