so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
wow bdsm is so cute
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