That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
