If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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