Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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