Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
