There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
