I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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