she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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