But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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